Time has flown by

My intentions were to update this blog frequently, but life sure gets busy. I can't believe nearly 5 months have passed since my last entry. So much has happened that it will be difficult, or impossible to describe it all. Natasha has adjusted well, beyond my expectations. She is a happy, well-adjusted pre-teen girl. Not that we did not have our moments in the beginning. I re-read my last post and remember the temper tantrums the first few months. They were averaging about 2 a week until about June 1st. Looking back, I think Natasha was frustrated from not being able to communicate well and she was also testing the boundaries. She was thinking she could call the shots in the family. In early June there were a couple of big incidents were Mark and I really had to let her know that she was not going to get her way. It was not particularly fun, but she got the message and the tantums pretty much ceased. She still gets pouty and whiny, but that is the extent of it. She knows now that she cannot win.

Her English is just great. She has no trouble talking up a storm. Just a minute ago she was looking over my shoulder, wanting to type the blog!

Her reading and and writing skills are still way behind, but considering how far she has come, I have no doubt she will catch up soon.

She has made lots of friends at school and she invited them this summer for her birthday party. At the end of the day, she said it was the best party she had every had. That just made me so

happy inside! She's 12 now. In many ways she acts like a typical 12 year old girl, but in many other ways she still seems very young. Emotionally, she is probably 2-3 years behind. I think she acts like a 9 year old. In some ways she is even younger than that. She needs her mom in ways that a young child does. But I know that is because she missed so much bonding a closeness with a mom in those earlier years. She recognizes that too, and is able to verbalize it. We have worked out daily routine that helps her get those needs met. Socially she seems to keep up with her peers, which I am grateful for.

She starts middle school next week. It is a much bigger school, with older kids. She is a little nervous, but she will be fine. One good thing about this school is they have put her in ESL classes for all her subject. I think that should help.

We took a 2 week family vacation which was awesome. We were up near Glacier National Park. She caught her first fish, and saw lost of wildlife she has never seen before. For her it was quite an adventure, for me it is the start of some wonderful family traditions and great memories. She is just an awesome kid with a great heart. I feel so very, very lucky!




She is taking swimming lessons right now. It was a fight to get her to agree to take them, but now she loves it. We are trying to get her involved in hobbies, or sports on anything that interests her. She does not want to take lessons of any kind. We have asked her about every interest under the sun and she has said "no" to all. But while on vacation she said she wanted to try golf. Yeah! We don't golf, but I am just so happy to see her finally have a desire to learn a sport or hobby.

We'll that's all for now, but I will really try to post more often. The truth is . . . I am having so much fun being with Natasha that I hate to break away!

Home One Month!

Natasha has been home over a month now and things are starting to settle into somewhat of a routine. We are still learning so much about one another, every day is an adventure. She still is having trouble going to school for a full day and completing her assignments. She can sure throw a big fat fit! But today she really enjoyed both school and homework, so who knows maybe we have turned a corner. But it is too early to tell.

Natasha really loves my brother's horses and has quickly become comfortable around them. Saturday we saddled up for the first time. She showed no fear and was soon trotting around the arena. She seemed pretty natural up there . . . I am looking forward to the two of us riding together. We also took her on a little 4 Wheeling trip in the Jeep. She didn't like that so much. I don't thinks she saw the point of boucing around the back seat. Oh well! She did enjoy posing for pictures and taking them once we got to our destination.

Natasha's English is improving each week, and I think that will help with being able to hang in there for a full day of school. Hearing a language you do not understand all day is exhausting.

I am still trying to figure out how to best help her with English. I have looked at some on-line tutoring through Skype, as well as some more traditional private tutors. Today I met with a retired ESL teacher who is a friend of a friend. She was very kind and provided me all kinds of ideas and materials for us. I still don't know what is the best way to help her . . . I think I will rely on this retired teacher to guide me.

But we can carry on simple conversations and her vocabulary is growing all the time. She is so funny with some of the things she comes up with like "one puppy, daddy please".

The next day " Mommy, no puppy, one cat" , Now it is "okay, no dog, no cat, but one horse"

When I tell her the horses are Mario's, but we can ride them, she says " Mario give me horse for my happy birthday". Well, I don't think so . . . .

We've started school . . with some ups and downs . . .

We met with the principal of our public elementary school prinicpal shortly after Natasha arrived to talk about how to get her started in school. This small school has never had an older international adoptee, so we were all new to this. We decided to let her stay home a few weeks before she started school to get her acclimated a bit before introducing a whole school full of new kids and new experiences. After a couple of weeks it was clear that she was comfortable with us, our home, our community and with our extended family. So it was time to start school this past Monday. The weekend before we started reminding her that she was going to schoool on Monday. She certainly had a lot of fears (understandably so) and had one meltdown that lasted a couple of hours. But by the time Monday morning rolled around she had picked out her outfit, organized her bookbag and was ready to go. We decided to start her out with just a couple hours a day to see how it would go. We walked her to class, met the principal, her teacher and a few students.We told the teaher to call if she seemed overwhelmed. We all agreed that Natasha would let the teacher know when she had enough for the day and we would come get her. Monday morning there was an assembly, so we stayed for that too. By the time we left she seemed pretty comfortable and didn't even notice when we left. I felt just like we had dropped our kindergartener off for their first ever day of school.

Her first day of school went just fine. It was a minimum day because of school conferences, which was good. She made friends with the girls in the class, and even got invited for a play date already. She gave us a big thumbs up when we picked her up. We thought all was good. Tuesday and Wednesday was more of the same, although when we asked how school went she crinkled her nose up a little. Not quite the big "high five" from Monday. But she got more phone numbers from her classmates so it still all seemed good. She did her math homework and seems to be at the same math level. We thought we were in the clear.

Then Wednesday night hit. All was good until it was time to go to bed. She started out with "No School!" in kind of a joking manner. We laughed and assured her that, yes indeed she was going to school. Then it kinda escalated to where she was insisting. We held firm. Soon she starting wailing and sobbing nearly hysterically. We couldn't figure out what was wrong. She refused to talk to the translators so we could figure out what was going on. We tried the on-line translator but we couldnt find out what was truly bothering her. We finally got her to sleep after about 1 1/2 hours of crying. We hoped that in the morning she would feel better about it all.

Thursday morning she started in with saying "No School" before she even opened her eyes. Again it escalated into hysterics. We were pretty firm that she was going to go back to school. After about a hour of this she was still in her PJs and it was clear we were not winning the battle. We tried the on-line translator again. We got a clue it was something about the kids in class. Were they being mean? "No". Was the work too difficult? "No". By this time she had crawled up into the fetal position on her bed. Mark went to the school to talk to the teacher and I stayed home to console her. Oh Boy, this was not starting out to be a good day

Anyways, the teacher was able to shed some light. She had noticed by the end of the day Natasha looked exhausted and overwhelmed. The kids were being nice to her, too nice. Apparently she had become somewhat of a celebrity. All the kids loved her and were curious about her and wanted to be her best friend. She had too much attention from too many kids who were all speaking English too her way too fast. Ok, now I get it! I went back to the on-line translator and the gist of it was "too many friends".

So the rest of the day we stayed together quietly and did a few fun things. She settled down and agreed to go to school tomorrow, at least part of the day. I think we will try it out at 2-3 hours and see where that leads us. Whew!

Our first week home!!

Natasha has been home for a little over a week now. What a week it has been. Things have been going just great. She had a hard time the day of the flight, but fortunately we met a family on the plane who had just adopted 2 boys. They were going back to California too. Natasha quickly warmed up to the boys and they chatted away. And the 2 moms were able to compare notes.
This really helped over the 3 hour layover, which would have been a killer without the pleasant diversion. Still, she was very tired by the time we landed in SF. Mark picked us up at the airport and Natasha's whole demeanor changed instantly. She had big hugs and smiles for him. I think Mark got just a little teary eyed. We collected our bags and drove home. Natasha clung to Mark the whole drive. It was good to see. Once we got home and Natasha took in the surroundings, her whole attitude changed. She was smiling and affectionate. I think she was relieved to be able to see and touch and feel the home that she had only been able to imagine up to that point. It was no longer a scary thing, but a real, warm home. Even though we were totally exhausted, she now found the energy to play with the dogs and proudly show Mark a few items before we went to bed. She was a totally different girl than in Ukraine! I was happy and relieved to see it.

As the days clicked by, Natasha became more and more comfortable. At first she was onlu comfortable and happy at home with us, but grew reserved anytime we left the house and took a drive. After a few days she realized that taking a drive usually meant we were going somewhere fun, and her attitude changed. Now she is happily taking int he surroundings and playing with the sunroof and windows. She even got a pair of sunglasses so she can look like a real California girl!

She was and still is reluctant to meet people. I am sure it is hard to meet strangers when you cannot speak their language. She has met her grandparents. She quickly became comfortable with Marks parents. Our first visit was only about 10 minutes, but we visited them nearly every day and by the 2nd or 3rd visit she loved spending time with them. She now calls them "Babuska" and "Daduska". When Babuska made Pelmini for lunch, Natasha was in heaven. That, along with the fact that they have a swimming pool in the backyard sealed the deal! We have not had the opportunity to spend as much time with my parents, so she is not as comfortable with them yet, but I am confident it will come. They live on a ranch with horses, so she is now eager visit them too!

She is even relucant to meet kids who have recently been adopted by some local families. I know these children can be a huge support for her, and a way to be able to communicate with someone in her own language. I know these connections will benefit her, so I gently continue to push. She is shy by nature, but I know she will value these friendships once they are formed.

The best part is what an affectionate, loving child she is now that we are home. Her personality did not really shine until we came home. She loves, loves, loves the dogs and could play with them for hours. She is very affectionate with both Mark and I. She calls us Mommy and Daddy. She showers us with hugs and kisses and tells us that she loves us. She is also very funny and mischevious. She makes us laugh all the time. Here English is improving every day. She amazes us when she speaks full (short) sentences. Our favorite right now is "One cat daddy, please!" Once she rode a horse, that changed to "No cat, horse!"

We plan on starting her in school in 2 weeks. She is not excited about starting school either, but she knows it is coming and we are preparing her for it. I bought her a book back the other day, and she was excited to get it. She knows it is for school She is passionate about "High School Musical" and we are going to decorate her room in that theme.

Things are going so well right now. She can get a bit of a stubborn attitude, but it is nothing we can't handle and she usually responds once she realizes we mean business. I am sure there will be some rough roads ahead, but for now I can say I am totally in heaven!!

We have the passport in hand!

Yesterday we recieved word that the passport would be ready today. Our facilitator made arrangements to pick us up at 7:00 am this morning to go for Natasha's medical exam and then to the US Embassy for the last step in this adoption process.

Natasha is NOT a morning person and I had a very hard time getting her up this morning. She had a meltdown and starting crying as I was pressing her to get up and get dressed. Our facilitator had to come up to the apartment and speak to her in Ukrainian.

The medical exam was not a big deal. After that I finally got her passport. We went off to the embassy to finish off the final paperwork. We have to return there at 2 pm for her Visa so we can fly home tomorrow. Horray!

We fly out of her at noon and will arrive in San Francisco somewhere after 11 pm Thursday night PST. While I have enjoyed the Ukraine, this has been a trying experience and I am ready to come home!!!!!!!!!!!!

I digress . . . .

My new Russian cookbook to learn to make some of Natasha's favorite dishes

Eating MacDonalds (again!) at the mall foodcourt, complete with skating rink (just like America!)

With our new friends at marketplace near the SDA office in downtown Kiev

Today we got out and about quite a bit. I was able to pick up some souviners, we got Natasha a purse, she played more games at the arcade, yada yada yada. BUT, check out the photo above. This was the most interesting part of my day!A unique cultural photo op! We were driving into downtown Kiev when I noticed this gathering in a plaza. As we approached, our facilitator explained what was going on. Today was the Ukriainian president's birthday. I guess this was a kind of a protest. The flags are of the Communist Party. They had a stage and who knows what blaring over the PA system. The airplane says something to the effect of telling him to "Go to America". I guess they are not very pleased with him :)

Waiting for Passport

The pace has slowed for us here. We are in an apartment in Kiev waiting for Natasha's passport to be done so we can go home to the US. Our facilitator takes us for some kind of outing each day to entertain Natasha and keep me from getting cabin fever. We are a using this time to get to know more about each other. For example I have learned these things about Natahsa.

• She is NOT a morning person! She's night owl. That will be a big adjustment for our family!
• She loves chocolate (but really, who doesn't)
• When asked what she likes to do she responded : "eat, talk, eat ". She is certainly eating!
• She loves TV and cartoons
• She enjoys photography
• She is shy practicing any English words
• She likes a good tickle-fest. I feel a pillow fight coming on

I really have to prod her to come to bed, to get up in the moring, to turn off the TV and to take a shower. She is not shy about saying "no!" with a smile and wondering how far she can push it. With a little more prodding she good-naturedly gives in. Shes does not seem to want to leave the apartment which is a bit puzzling to me. She did not want to talk a walk outside, or make a snowman, or even go to the mall. My facilitator tells me she said she is uncomfortable out in public with me because I am a foreigner and can't communicate with people. Then the burden of communication for us falls on her. It is as if the roles of parent and child are reversed. So for now I am not pusing things too much. I let her sleep in, watch TV and only go out when our facilitator has something planned for us. He has taken us to some arcades in the big malls. We have also seen Pink Panther dubbed in Ukrainian. Still funny, but I missed a lot of the jokes.
Last night I let her call her friends, she had a lively conversation for about 1/2 hour. I am sure, like any pre-teen girl, that she could have talked for hours. I was afraid that she would be sad when she got off the phone, but she was not.


Today we went to the circus. It was the first time Natasha had been to the circus. It was a really great performance. Much, much better than any circus I have seen in the US. The had women lion and tiger trainers that you can see here. The circus is a big deal here and I can see why. I took a ton of pictures. One girl in one of the high wire acts fell, and it was not a planned part of the act. She landed on the saftey net, but on the very far corner. We think she hurt her neck, but she went back up and repeated the manuver perfectly

Communication with us is a challenge. I have a good on-line translation program to use, but Natasha does not see to interested in working on it. So we do a few things, and then let it go for the day. For the most part we get along fine with hand signals, charades and intonation. Mosgt of the time she gets my meaning and I get hers. Tomorrow is Monday and we will go back to the arcade that Natasha enjoys and then have lunch out. I will be anxious to hear how the passport is coming along. I am ready to come home

Jackpot at the Arcade

Natasha and I are busy doing fun stuff tonight, but I wanted to post these pictures. She slept in this morning and then we went to a mall in Kiev that had an arcade for the afternoon. We bowled and played some video games. On one particular game she hit the jackpot of 364 tickets. That entitled her to claim some great prizes. She couldn't decide what she wanted, so she picked a piggybank and will be back for more loot later. Love to all

Girls Nite Out!

Sorry for the delay in updating the blog, but I have not had internet access until today. I arrived in Kiev, Ukraine on the morning of the 15th, and met my facilitor, his wife and our driver. I was thinking we would rest up spend the night in Kiev and then head out to Nemirov in the morning. Not so. To get a head start on things we would me making the 5 hour drive immediately. Thankfully the now-familiar trusty red van had a big backseat. I was able to stretch out sleep for a good portion of the drive out to the region. We arrived in time to check into the Sanatorium we stayed in before. The next day, after our breakfast of beets, mashed potatoes and sausage and then some morning down-time we headed to the orphanage to visit with Natasha at our regular 2-4 pm time.

We went to her home room and waited a short while for the kids to come back from lunch in the cantina. As they came trailing in, I anxiously waited for Natasha, wondering how she would be after this 10 day break. When she came in she smiled and gave me a hug. In our embrace I said "I missed you" and she nodded in agreement. After a few short mintues she headed up to her room on the 3rd floor to change out of her school outfit. I brought to the visit a photo album we had put together of photos we took of the class during our first visit. While I waited for her I showed the photo album to the other kids in the class. It was a huge hit. They crowded around were jostling for position so they could get a good view of the book. There was a new boy, Vitali, in the class, and another girl who was not there during our first visit because she was in the hospital. I think her name is Natasha too. After Natasha came back and had a chance to see the album, we watche some Inspector Gadget cartoon. We were quiet, but I think she leaned into me, just a little bit. I was happy with our visit.

The next day we had a lot of running around to do for the new birth certificate and passport. We had to head to a town called Tulchin, which is the capital of the district were she was born. In Tulchin we did some kind of birth certificate business at the Civil Registry office. Then back to the court in Nemirov. We probably did more than that, who knows. I just rode in the van, read, and took pictures when we stopped. We briefly stopped at the Internot, just to let Natasha know tomorrow would be her last day there. Yikes! and Horray! I am sure we both felt equally nervous and excited. Natasha still is unsure how to act around me. During this brief stop, I saw here accross the yard. She was with friends. When she saw and heard me, she froze. Was she supposed to go over to me? Was she supposed to stay with her friends? Her friend Ina pushed her in my direction. Both girsl rolled their eyes. I am sure I will see much eye-rolling in the years to come.

The next morning I was so excited, realizing that from this point forward Natasha leaves the Internot for good and begins living with us, like a family . . . the way it should be for all kids.
I packed one set of new clothes for her. She leaves there with nothing. Not even a pair of socks.
When we got there, the mood was almost festive. All the girls and her teacher gathered around her and eyed her new clothes with approval. They all helped her change. It almost reminded me of a bride getting ready for her wedding with her bridesmaids. Hugs, kisses and tears among her and her friends. After she changed we took one last group photo, that is at the beginning of this post. As we headed out to the van, the water works really begain. Good-byes are hard, so we tried not to prolong things. I gave gifts to the class, teacher and director. Finally we were off.

Natasha was sullen and tearful. She would not look in my direction or have any physical contact. Momentarily I panicked, thinking she was changing her mind. But I have seen this mood of hers twice before, so I felt confident it would pass. She outlined a heart in the condensation on the van window. Inside she wrote UA 5 Love. I think she meant the 5 girls who were her classmates, roomates, family. She will miss them very much. We got there phone numbers. They have our phone number and address. I hope they will always stay in touch. I wish I could take them all home.

Slowly, during the full day of driving and stopping for passport and birth certificate business, she begain to relax. I gave her a diary and she wrote a bit in it, she read from a book I gave her and then played games on the laptop and phone. She took pictures when we stoppped. She really cenjoyed that. Finally we shared listening to some music on Mark's I-Pod. We laughed togetheras we took self-portraits on the phone camera.Towards the end of the visit she briefly wrapped her arms around my waist and leaned on me to rest. That was the best yet!

We arrived back in Kiev, got some groceries and settled into the apartment we will share for a week while we wait for her passport to be processed so we can come home. As soon as our faciltator finished helping us get settled and closed the door behind him, Natasha got this big grin on her face and literally ran over to me with a big, big hug! She seemed to be saying, "Yeah, we are a family now, I'm so excited!" The rest of the night went great. We had some silly fun, watched some TV and had a video call from Mark on Skype. We settled into bed for a good nights sleep

This morning I fixed us breakfast. I am going to see if I can break Natasha of the one-shower-a-week habit. Later today we will get out and about and see Kiev. She has only been here once before, and that was only to the Zoo. I hope this week we can both see the sights of the City together.

Retail Therapy (A License to Shop)

This lousy economy has hit everyone. We have made some pretty significant financial sacrifices in order to make this adoption happen. In addition to that we have cut all discretionary spending to the bare bone. However, since I have to bring new clothes for Natasha to wear out of the Internot, I have an excuse to shop!!! I had a lot of fun shopping for cute clothes for a pre-teen girl. "Hanna Montana" shoes and "High School Musical" PJs. Welcome to motherhood!
Retail Therapy for me, Woohoo . . .

I leave early tomorrow morning for Ukraine to bring Natasha home. Stay tuned.

Back home and dead tired!

We are home for the 10 day waiting period after our court date. Natasha officially became our daughter on February 5th, but there is a 10 day waiting period which must pass. Then we go back to the Ukraine and arrange to get her new birth certificate and passport. Once those documents are obtained, we go to the US Embassy in Kiev to for her medical exam and an exit interview. Then we leave for the US! Once she arrives in the US she becomes a US citizen. She retains her Ukraine citizenship until she is 18, at which time she can choose to keep it or not.

Flying home was an exhausting experience! The flight from Kiev to New York was over 10 hours. We had a 4 hour layover in New York and then a 5 hour flight to San Francisco. Today we are very tired and just trying to unpack and rest.

I will leave again on Feb 15th and will return with Natasha probably on Feb. 26th. Only one parent has to go on the 2nd return trip. We are trying to decide if Mark will return with me or not. I don't think I had mentioned this before, but the town we are adopting from is only about 500 Kilometers from Mark's grandparents hometown of Dulovo. When we realized this, we hoped that we would have time to visit Dulovo, but it turned out we didn't. However, our facilitator said that we would have time to make the drive to Dulovo during on 2nd trip. Originally we dicided that I would make the retun trip alone, but now that a trip to Dulovo is possible, I am hoping Mark will come with me on the return trip. We may never have this opportunity again. Mark's father, Chaz, has also expressed an interest in coming along and going to Dulovo. I hope one or both of them will join me. It would be a shame if I am the only one who goes to their family's hometown!

Our day in court

Today was our court date. Let me start out by saying that Natasha is now officially our daughter!!! However, the day was not without a bit of drama. When we drove to the orphanage to pick up Natasha, she was withdrawn and quiet. She would not meet our gaze. For the 20 minute drive to the court, she stared out the window. I reached out my hand, asking for her to take it, but she refused. I was a little more persistent and took her hand in mine. She pulled away. Now I was getting concerned that perhaps she had changed her mind. When we picked up Natasha, her social worker from the orphanage came with us and we picked up the inspector on the way. These 2 people, along with our facilitator, were doing there best to talk to Natasha and ease her mind. She clung to them, but would hardly accept any comfort for us. While waiting in the courtroom hallway she stayed close to the orphanage staff and started to cry. She wanted no comfort from us. This was really confusing for us. Did she change her mind???? Our facilitator prepared us well for the questions we would be asked in court. The questions we were asked lasted less than 15 minutes. When Natasha was called on to speak, she looked really uncomfortable and akward. She stammered our a few words. The court smiled at her reassuringly. Finally we all left. Everything was fine, she said she wanted to be adopted by us. But again, walking to the car, the whole drive back and walking to her classroom she kept to herself. Once in the classroom she talked to the teacher for awhile and then went to her room to change clothes. We were at a loss as to what to think. We played with the other kids in class while we waited for her to return.

Once she returned and was more relaxed, she started to smile again. We exchanged a few hugs and she nodded that she was okay. We walked to the store and picked up some goodies for the class. During the walk back, she grabbed my (Laurel) hand on her own, spontaneously. Hooray! This is what I had been waiting 2 weeks for !! When we got back from the store she was even more affectionate, more so that she had ever been. We explained that we would be coming back in 10 days and then we bring her to America. Big smile. We said goodbye to all the wonderful kinds in the class. Leaving was hard.

We had a great celebratory dinner with our facilitator and driver. Finally we have our daughter. Wohoo! Vokda all around !(well, except for our driver ) We talked at some length during dinner about her behavior today. Natasha is a very thoughtful girl, and is stuggling to process this very big change in her life. She has some mixed emotions, as would be expected. She is looking to people she trusts for guidance. Some of these people are encouraging her to go, others are not. How confusing this must be for her. She was deep in thought as we drove to court.

We stopped at the Nemiroff factory for some gifts to take home. Bright and early tomorrow morning we drive 5 hours back to Kiev and then take a Saturday morning flight back to the States.

A big day for everyone!

Vlad the bear

This weekend's visit with Natasha was again a lot of fun. This time, instead of one-on-one time with her, we spent our time in the classroom with the entire homeroom class. On Saturday we took her to the store and we bought candy and snacks for the class. While in the store, she was eyeing a big stuffed teddy bear, so we bought him too. We got the biggest smile out of her yet when she was holding that bear! She named him Vlad. Vlad quickly became the hit of the classroom.

Soon everyone was posing with Vlad for a photo. Natasha picked up the camera and started playing photographer. She has a knack for photography I think. Here are just a few of the photos we took. Our visit on Sunday ended early and we were sorry to go. We had a fun time with everyone. We could have easily stayed all day playing Uno, checkers, cops with the boys (they had toy guns), listening to their music (some of the girls felt comfortable enough to dance a little)

and snapping silly photos with Vlad. It was not until we were driving away that I realized we many not see some of them again. I wish we could take them all home. They are all such great kids.

Ukrainian Junk Food

Natasha's homeroom class has a daily break from 2-4 pm. Our daily visits have been scheduled around that breaktime. Today we spent the time in her classroom with most of her other classmates. They had gone to the store for some snacks and we sat around snacking, watching the equivalent of the Disney Channel and looking through the childrens photo albums and artwork. We learned some new words and taught some new words. Natasha knows more English than she lets on:)

Natasha's homeroom class has about 10 students. We have gradually gotten to know each of them by name and know a little of their individual personalities. Today we learned that most of the kids have been together for years, perhaps since pre-school. Really these 10 kids are like a big group of siblings, like family. They have the same homeroom, they share living quarters and they all go to Sicily during school breaks.

The scene in the homeroom today was a fun bit of chaos. The girls were watching something like the Cheetah Girls on TV, except in Italian. The boys were less interested. All of them pulled out their personal photo albums and pridefully showed us a mixture of photos from school, starting in kindergarten, to photos from Italy with thier Italian families, to artwork projects. We swapped words and joked at some of the photographs.

They shared all of their snacks with us, and really would not take "no thanks" for an answer. They had bubble gum with some type of trading cards, coffe flavored hard candy, some wierd cracker that was too sweet for a cracker but not sweet enough for a cookie. Not good. :(

My personal favorites were bags of flavored chips, kinda like potato chips. Take your pick, ham flavored, salmon flavored or caviar flavored. That's what I call Ukrianian junk food!

Everyone Knows McDonalds

Today was a rather unpleasant day, since Natasha had to get some blood drawn for some routine tests. We arrived at the orphanage early in the morning much to her suprise. When she learned she had to have her blood drawn she was not a happy camper. Can you blame her? We got a first-hand experience with her pouty mood. She really would not make eye contact or hold our hand. She just wanted to be left alone. We did manage to get a few smiles out of her with a tickle-fest, and we each got a hug when it was over and she said she was okay. Here is Natasha before the trip to the doctors office, still smiling

After that unpleasant experience, we had to do a lot of running around. (again) We took a trip to the region's capital,Vinneystka (sp?) to get the samples to the lab. "S" also had to make a few stops regarding our 2nd trip, making sure only one of us has to come back go bring Natasha home. While we were there we took a few pictures of the downtown area. It was much more of a cosmopolitan city compared to where we are staying. We did some shopping at an indoor mall, and it was exactly the same as any mall we would be accustomed to. The rest of the city is a interesting blend of Old World and New World. There was a WWII memorial in a downtown plaza that was particularly capitvating. It had an enternal flame and the names of all the fallen veterans engraved on plaques encircling the memorial.

After all that we had lunch at a McDonalds before returning back to the Sanitorium. I guess McDonalds is McDonalds wherever you go. Sitting there looking around, we could of been in California or anywhere else. The only difference was the language on the menu board.

That's it for today. We didn't get a chance to go to the Internot today because of all the running around we did. Hopefully when we see Natasha tomorrow she will have forgotten all about this mornings unpleasantness.

On Monday we will know when our Court date is!

Last night our paper work for our intent to adopt Natasha went back to the SDA in Kiev. Our facilitator tells us that on Monday we will know what our Court date will be. It's getting close now! This morning we had a few hours of free time, so we had the chance to walk around town and get a feel for the area. Up to this point we had really been too busy walk the neighborhood. And when you are riding in the van, it is so cold the windows fog up and you can't see much of anything. But today we walked through town and took a few pictures. Here's a photo of a tyical house in town. This afternoon we wanted to buy Natasha some earrings before our visit. "S" took us to what appeared to be a hardware store. I thought we must have made a mistake, but on the 2nd floor was a jewelery case, among other things you would not expect in a hardware store. We found a pretty pair of posts that were a delicate flower pattern. Then we were off to the orphanage. We had the chance to take a quick shot of one of the buildings that the children had painted a colorful mural.

Natasha and her homeroom class are getting used to our daily visits from 2-4 pm. They tried to get us to go have lunch with them today, but we explained we had just eaten before we arrived. Still, they brought us back some apples that we ate with yet another game of Uno. As with any other day, Mark lets his little girl bend the rules to the point of cheating (he's such a pushover!).

Natasha's teacher and caregiver are very nice women. Today the teacher showed us a book that was a collection of photos of Natasha and drawings she had done over the years. Natasha blushed and was embarrassed, but we made a fuss over it anyways. I think the drawings spanned the 5 years she had been there. The first drawings were like that of a kindergartener, and you could see the progression in her drawing skill over time. It was interesting to see the theme of most of the drawings. There was always one girl by herself outside in her yard with flowers and the house in the background.Sometimes there were animals too. A dog, cat or maybe a horse. I think one drawing had a bear! But no mom, dad, brother or sister. Just one girl and no one else in each and every drawing. Pretty telling, I would say.

A little later she asked if we would walk to the store with her and her friend from class. We bought some soda, cookies and candies and took them back to the class for a snack. Then it was time to go, but the teacher made a point of walking out with us so she could tell us a few things through "S". She said she enjoyed our photo album and that we were an easy couple to communicate with. Her brother, like Mark, enjoys fishing. Her father lives in Seattle. She asked us if we attend church and we told her we go to the Catholic church in Half Moon Bay on occassion. She seemed happy to hear that and wanted us to know that Natasha was baptized in the Russian Orthodox Church.

Tommorrow we will go to Vinnyetska for more adoption business. Hopefully we will have a chance to do a little sightseeing. It is a pretty big city, I think about an hour east, back towards Kiev.

That's it for today!

A true Soviet experience

Our facilitator, "S", said the other day that we are getting the true Soviet experience that few of the families he works with ever recieve. That is because we are adopting from a very rural area in which their way of life is as it has been for generations. Not many people adopt from here, so we Americans are a bit of a novelty in town.

We are staying in a town that is probably smaller than our little hometown of El Granada. I bet there are less than 1000 townspeople. The claim to fame here is the Nemiroff Vodka factory. Nemiroff is a premium Ukrainian vodka that we have been enjoying nightly(in moderation!) There is not much to do around here in the evenings! The weather is very, very cold. -5.7 C 0n some days. There is no sun all day long, and there is a heavy fog that hangs in the air all day.

We are staying in the town's Sanitorium, which is one of their other claims to fame. It is where people go to rest after an injury or illness. It has beautiful grounds,like a resort. Here you can see Mark posing with a statue of Lennon (not John) one of the many statues on the well manicured grounds.

The rest of the town is a pretty ramshackle neighborhood of old stone or brick farmhouses, each with a bunch of chickens fenced in the yard. Chicken and geese cross the road all the time. Lot of stray dogs too, all looking at you longingly for a handout. We have also seen a horsedrawn cart of some sort of going along the side of the road. Regardless of impoverished conditions, women are warm in their stylish fur coats on the street. I am sure that many of them are fake fur, but not all. It seems odd for us Americans to see a woman in a fur coat and high heeled boots hopping over potholes on a dirt road with stray dogs and cats to do her grocery shopping.

Every morning we have breakfast at the Sanitorium. Breakfast is usually a small plate of prunes, beets (or carrots) or today it was a salad that tasted like a seaweed salad you would find at a sushi restaurant. Next you get mashed potatoes with some kind of meat. Boiled chicken, stew meat, a few thin slices of cold sausage or the ground meat mixture that they stuff their cabbage leaves with. I know this does not sound appetizing, and it is certainly not what we usualy have for breakfast in the US. But it is really pretty darn good.

After breakfast we do some running around with paperwork, maybe buy some toys for Natasha and her class or stock up on supplies for us. We'll stop for lunch at a local restarant. Lunch is typicall Borsht, cabbage salad and Pelmini (sp?) which is ground meat wrapped in a pasta-like dough. Delicious.

We spend for 2-4 each afternoon at the orphanage. We are getting to know the kids in Natasha's home room class. We do pretty well communicating with each other. Today 3 boys from the class joined us in our Uno game. Natasha is different with the boys than with the girls. When the girls joined in our game there was lots of goofing around and giggling. Today when the boys joined in we saw a new side to her. She was definitely getting frustrated by one boy in particular, and the tone in her voice changed. I found that she is not quite as quiet and shy as I thought. I think she gave the poor boy a piece of her mind! Glad to hear she can stand up for herself when need be! However, she has one boy wrapped around her finger and that is Dad! She can get him to let he see her cards, and can convince him to play the cards the works to her benefit. No wonder she wins so many hands.

One boy today, Sergi, wanted to show us all kinds of things in the classroom. We saw their individual photo albums, drawing projects from Christmas and their English Language learning books. Today we also got the rare opportunity to eat with the kids in their canitna for lunch. We weren't planning on it, we were simply looking for Natash for our visit. But they insisted, and it would have been rude to refuse. All the kids fell over each other to serve us. We sat with Natasha and her older friend Nastia. Nastia is 15 and we have become very, very fond of her. She is in the picture with us up above. In fact, if she were available, we may have been coming home with 2 girls. But she is not available. Nevertheless, we have her address and phone number and plan on staying in touch. Perhaps there is some way we can help this really bright, cheerful girl.

She said "Da" today

Today was a big day for all of us. Today was the day Natasha would decide if she wanted to be adopted or not. We have had some very good visits with her, each one getting better all the time. We were feeling confident that it would work out, but nevertheless, it was a nerve-wracking meeting! We all sat in the directors office, and much was said. Of course in a language we did not understand! I searched Natasha's face for some inkling of what she was thinking. She was nervous, I could tell, but I saw her nod her head and softly say "da". Shortly after that we were instructed to leave the office and go into the hallway. I was still looking for some indication that all was good. Once we were in the hallway, the inspector smiled at me a gave me the universal thumbs up sign and held out her arms. I hugged her big-time!

The rest of the day was a lot of paperwork. Natasha had to handwrite letter of agreement/acknowledgement. She has such neat handwriting. It was odd to see her have to state her intent in written form. Next we had to leave to find a notary to sign our acknowledgement as well. We hugged good-bye and did our best to assure her everything would be fine. More running around with papers and documents and notaries and meetings. Mostly we just sat in the car while our facilitator takes care of everthing.

We went back to the Internot for a short visit where we played Uno with Natasha and several of her friends. We had a lot of fun joking around, making fun of the fact that now our dog and daughter-to-be have the same name, and finding new ways to cheat at Uno. All of the kids there are great. We know several by name. Sasha wandered around the halls today with a jar of Nutella, Nastia gave us some pictures of her summer in Italy, Natasha and her 3 roomates giggled liked typical pre-teens.

The next big hurdle is our court date and making sure we continue to bond with Natasha daily.
We can see that she is still a bit unsure of all of this. When we are just one-on-one with her she can get a bit uncomfortable when all the focus is on her. When her friends are around and we are all interacting, she is much more relaxed and comfortable. That is when we see the "real" her. In time she will relax with us, I'm sure. For now we try to create ways for us to learn about each other. We want her to feel more comfortable and confident of her decision as each day passes.

Meet Natasha!

Sorry for the delay in posting to our blog. We are now 5 hours west of Kiev in a very rural part of the country. Internet access is very limited, so we wont be posting daily. We are in such a different frame of mind since out last post, that it seems like a whole other time. We drove 5 hours to reach Natasha's Internot. We were very nervous at our first meeting, and so was she. When she walked into the room, our hearts just melted. She looked so sweet and shy. I just wanted to hug her and protect her. That first day we just made some jewelry with the jewelery making kit we brough her and then we watched a little of Finding Nemo. We got a hug and the end of the afternoon and that was about it. We are able to see her from 2-4 pm each afternoon. The second day we met with the director. That did not go well. She does not seem supportive. :(

However, our visit with Natasha went very well. We purchased a few videos in Ukrainian and watched them and then ended our vistit with a rousing game of Uno that was full of laughter and goofing around. It felt good. It felt like family. Big hugs and kisses as we left.

On day 3 there was a big change in her demeanor. She was a bit sullen and shy again. All of us met again with the director, along with the inspector who is very supportive of the adoption. Natasha started crying and it seemed she was very confused and hurting. We hated to see her in such emotional pain. We were getting concerned that she would not agree to come. She said she could not make up her mind and asked for the weekend to think it over. Of course! This is too much for a child to process. They have no idea what their like would be like in America. Life in the Internot is all they know.

Today, Saturday, we were able to spend all day with her and the smiling girl was back again. We had so much fun playing board games, barbies, Uno and whatever else we could get our hands on. We managed to get special permission to take her out of the Internot for lunch. When the director finds out on Monday we are sure she will have a fit. We were on Cloud Nine by the end of the day.

As other who have gone before us have said, there are SO MANY wonderful deserving children at this and every Internot. We are certainly celebrities and the children crowd around us, full of questions. They try to speak Italian or French to us before they realize we are American. There are a few in particular who are special to us. In particular one smart, confident girl who just turned 15. She told us today that Natasha does want to go with us, but is getting pressure not to go. We hope Natasha will be strong and say "YES" , "DA" to life in America with us.

This sweet 15 year old said she would come to America in a minute. She speaks English pretty well and is fluent in Italian. We are going to find out if she is available. She has what it takes to have a bright future.

By Monday we will know for sure if we will be a family. Pray for us!

One helluva roller coaster ride

So much has happened in the last couple of days that I am not sure where to begin. So let me give a brief background. Our original plan was to adopt the child we hosted in 2007. We'll call her "A". Those plans feel apart when she went to Italy this past summer and spent 2 months with an Italian Family. At the end of the summer this family said they wanted to adopt her. "A" decided she wanted to be adopted by them. We decided to stop pursuing "A" because of the bond she had formed with them and the desire she had to be with them. It was a very difficult decision for us.



When that happened we started trying to identify another available girl in the same age range. We found out about a beautiful little girl, "M". We had the chance to talk to several families who had met her over hosting trips. Everyone had wonderful things to say about her. We became quite excited about this new opportunity. We shifted our focus from "A" to "M" and were very exicted to meet her and make her a part of our family.





However, to our horror, just before we were going to bed the night before our flight out, we got a phone call that "M" , had just agreed to be adopted by an Italian family. That blow really hit us hard, Mark in particular. He (we) had really had our hopes pinned on this chid and we were filled with excitement to meet her. We were so upset that we actually thought about not to going at all. We swore that we would never go on this trip without having a particular child in mind to go adopt. Now, just a few hours before our flight, our plans were dashed. In the end we decided we had come this far that we could not turn back. We still hope we could be lead to the child that was meant to be part of our family. This was a huge leap of faith.





The trip to Ukraine was not as bad as I thought it would be. We left 6:30 am on Friday and arrived about 9:30 am on Saturday. With the 10 hour time change it was roughly a 14 hour trip.

We hardly slept the night before our flight because of the last minute hoopla, and neither of us slept much on the plane. That madeus DEAD TIRED when we arrived. Fortunately customs was a breeze. We were met by our facilitator "S" and were taken to exchange money, do a little grocery shopping and then to our apartment to freshen up. The apartment in Kiev is the same one that our friends stayed at when they where here to adopt their son just a couple months ago.It is cozy and comfortable.



Sunday was a down day so "S" took us sightseeing. We saw a couple of gorgeous Cathedrals from the12th century. The frescos and mosaics on the walls were breathtaking. One Cathedral is now a museum, but the other was conducting services when we arrived. It was a humbling experience to be present at this very traditional orthodox (i think!) service.



We have found our facilitator to be very helpful and knowledgeable. He really takes care of everything and we feel that we are in good hands.



Monday was the big day, our SDA appointment. We were very nervous going into it blind, without going in and asking for a specific known child. However, we went in with high hopes that a child's photo and profile would reach out and grab us and we would be led to the child that we knew was always meant to be with our family. We saw about 5 single girls between the ages if 9-11, but we didn't get that "feeling" that we had with "A" or "M". We agonized for over an hour and then finally made a decision because we had to. We left the appointment feeling very discouraged and depressed. Again we had the feeling to just go home. We are trying to fight off those feelings. Hopefully when we go to the orphanage and actually meet the girl, everything will be different.

Sorry this had not been a very upbeat post, but we are not feeling so upbeat at the moment.

Our bags are packed, we're ready to go . . .

7:oo pm - There was so much to do to get ready for this trip, but I think we are finally there. Just a few more items to pack and were done. Jim is picking us up at 4 am (ouch!) for the ride to the airport. Our flight leaves at 6:40 am and arrives in New York at 3:10 pm. After a 2 hour layover we head for Kiev, Ukraine. We arrive in Kiev at 10:10 am on the 17th, Ukraine time. We're in the air 14 hours. I am NOT looking forward to the flight. I get ansy after a 4 hour flight, so I dread all that time in cramped coach seats. I have plenty of books to read and hopefully there will be several good movies to kill the time.

When we arrive in Kiev we will be met my our facilitator who will be helping us with everything while we are in Ukraine. He'll take us to our apartment to check in. Current weathe is 32. Cold, but not too bad. There is a 10 hour time difference, so we will have all of the 17th and 18th to recover from jetlag before our SDA appointment on the 19th.

SDA stand for State Department of Adoptions. To give you some background, we prepared our Dossier back in March 2008. The Dossier is the package with our homestudy, homeland security clearance, medical reports and probably a dozen other notarized documents that took us months to prepare. But by the time our Dossier was done and sent to Ukraine, the SDA was no longer accepting any more Dossiers for 2008. So we had to wait and wait. Then sometime in October they started accepting a limited number of Dossiers. However, by that time ours had expired! So we had to race around and re-do all the documents. Fortuately, we updated everything in time and got it to Ukraine in time to recieve an invitation to travel from the SDA and an appointment with them for January 19th 2009.

At the appointment we will ask for a referal for a child that we know of from her previous trips to the U.S. If all goes well , they give us the referral which starts the ball rolling to go see her and start adoption proceeds if the visit goes well. I probably don't have the process exactly right, but that is our basic understanding. Oftentimes, famlies do not already know of a child and instead the SDA gives them files of children to review. Then the family has about an hour to decide on which child (or children) they wish to visit.

Wish us luck at the appointment!

We leave on the 16th!

It has been over a year now since we met a group of kids from Ukraine who came to the U.S. as part of a hosting program in November 2007. Here is a picture of some of them playing with our dogs at San Gregorio Beach. The program brings orphans from Ukraine to the U.S. for an American cultural experience. They stay with host families in the Bay Area. Many times the American families adopt these children after they return back to the Ukraine. We have been diligently working on the process to adopt a school-age girl that we met through the hosting program. It has been a long and difficult process, but we are finally ready to leave on Friday January 16th. We have started this blog to allow friends and family to follow us along the way. Perhaps we should have started this blog over a year ago. There has certainly been enough drama and other activity to fill volumes! We'll do our best in the coming posts to explain the process that got us to this point and where we are going from here. We had originally hoped to adopt the girl we met through the hosting program. However, nothing is ever certain and that is definitely the case is our particular situation. We are going to the Ukraine with an open heart and an open mind and hopefully will be led to the child who is meant to be part of our family