Monday, February 21, 2011

Help, I have a teenager!

Wow! I cannot believe how much time has passed since my last post. Much has changed since that time. Natasha is maturing into a typical teenager. I will do my best to record it in this blog. Mostly it will be for my own benefit, since I doubt anyone is following this blog any longer.

We really are blessed to have a beautiful, smart, wise, confident daughter. That being said, she is hardly the shy little girl we brought home 2 years ago!

The last time I posted, she still wanted lots of mommy time, cuddling and the security of her parents. I knew that would be short-lived as she developed into a teenager, but I was grateful that we had that time to bond and to give her the things that were lacking in her childhood. Honestly, at age 12, she still wanted the closeness that a 8-9 year old would want. I was happy to give it. Both because it helped the two of us bond and because she needed to get those things that she did not get as a child. It was probably a good year and a half of a regular night-time cuddling ritual before she began to no longer need or want it. Probably about 6 months ago, around her 13th birthday, I noticed her not needing our nightly ritual as much. She got more interested in her friends,boys, music and texting! Now she is a typical, boy crazy teen girl, complete with the Justin Bieber crush.

I know we were able to help her grow in her emotional development so that she is now a typical boy crazy teenage girl. I know that it was the environment we provided that allowed her to get those earlier needs met and complete her development to the next level of maturity. (see aforementioned crazy teenage girl). Still, I can't help feeling a little bit wistful and sad, wishing we had more of that time to spend together. I find myself wondering if that year and a half of really close mommy time was enough to develop a strong mother-daughter bond that will last our lifetimes. Most mothers and daughters have so much more time together before the daughter begins to pull away. That year and a half I had is so precious to me. I hope it was enough.

I am a bit envious of more conventional families that had more time together before the eye-rolling and "embarrassed to be seen with your parents" stage begins.

As I type, she is in her bedroom talking up a storm with her best friend about the latest" who likes who" saga from school.

I have notices some behaviors, which for some may look like typical, frusrating teenage behavior, that I know are really more about her lingering attachement issues. She still has some anger and control and trust issues, but they are pretty minor and we are still talking them through. For the most part, they manifiest like typical, frustrating teenage behavior, but I know they stem from her attachment.

Til next time!

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